On Sunday a select Academy Award nominees will walk away winners when each walk away with a gift bag worth an estimated $150,000 as a consolation prize. The bags are offered to nominees in the Actor in Leading Role, Actress in a Leading Role, Actor in a Supporting Role, Actress in a Supporting Role and Directing categories. This year’s free gift bag recipients will be able to choose from luxurious items including a session with the founder of Enigma Life, Olessia Kantor, to discuss the nominee’s “2015 horoscope, analyze dreams and teach them mind-control techniques,” a custom-designed piece of furniture from EF+Facto, and a Rouge maple syrup package.
It made me think about the kind of items I would enjoy if given a consolation Oscar nominee gift basket.
- Cocktails with Diane Sawyer in her New York City penthouse so she can tell me about working with Richard Nixon, being married to Mike Nichols, and what she really thinks of Barbara Walters.
- A collection of Chloe bags.
- A lifetime membership to the spa where Tory Burch gets her facials.
- A weeklong stay at Mirival Arizona Resort & Spa so I can get an astrology report, a detox, and someone to scrub off at least three layers of dead skin.
- A hosting gig on Saturday Night Live.
- My own development deal with ABC.
- A walk on role on the next season of The Bachelor.
- Some super fancy bottles of balsamic vinegar and olive oil.
- A gourmet pizza maker. Not an actual apparatus, someone who will show up and make it in my kitchen.
- Beyoncé-sized diamond earrings. So I can dress up my running clothes.
- A golf cart, for shits and giggles.
- Cooking session with Curtis Stone so I can stare at him while he makes me halibut.
- Ventura Lipo-Light liposuction and fat reduction package. I don’t know what it is, but it sounds magical.
- Customized Taco buffet by Bobby Flay.
- Three nights at George Clooney’s Lake Cuomo Villa (so I can look through the medicine cabinets and dresser drawers).
- A fleet of chauffeured cars for the days I don’t feel like dragging my kids around town.
- O’Boises sour cream and onion potato chips, which I am pretty sure they no longer make.
- Entenmann’s raspberry danish, which is like heaven’s raindrops.
- A pocket sized Bill Murray and Martin Short to keep me laughing.
What would you want?