Let’s run through some general background:
- Justin’s mom is his manager and brokered the deal for him to have his wedding pictures sold to People Magazine for $300,000. He will get additional money from the European sale to OK Magazine. This, as you can imagine, is not a whole lot of extra jangle for a couple that has plenty of dough. But what it does is give them is extra exposure, something both crave.
- Justin cheated on her with Olivia Munn.
- Jessica Biel was desperate for him to marry her. What is her career minus Justin Timberlake?
- His mother planned the wedding. She was granted some influence on the guest list. So she was able to invite Lucy Camden from Seventh Heaven.
- No one from N’Sync was invited.
- They apparently developed this whole covert mission to have a private wedding without the intrusion of paparazzi, but then sold their wedding photos.
Okay, fair enough.
Now let’s discuss this cover photo. It looks like a scene straight out of the Mickey Mouse Club. Where’s the bride? Oh, she’s standing next to the craft service table, underneath the lamp in the corner. Where is the groom? He’s just shazzaming his way into the entire picture. He is doing a full toe touch cannonball wazoo into front and center. How else did he steam role his way into front and center at his wedding? He SANG his own song as she walked down the aisle. The song, as they are quick to point out, was a secret one that will coincidentally be on his upcoming album to be released shortly. HE IS PLUGGING HIS OWN ALBUM AT HIS WEDDING. Also, wouldn’t you want a moment to sort of gather yourself and bask in the moment that your wife walks down the aisle? Maybe situate yourself before you take your vows? No, his eyes were closed. His arm in the air with a finger pointing in the air to highlight certain notes. Who is going to watch the bride enter the ceremony when Justin Timberlake (the groom) is giving them a performance?
Also, the bride wore pink. You know, like your niece who went to the 8th grade prom.
Because if you are going to spend all that money on a fancy Italian wedding you should get a dress from the Dream Fairy Princess catalog.
Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter @KateCasey