Let's discuss US Weekly's cover story last week on the Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift love story. Between the incredible details of their
Thanksgiving holiday together and the exclusive picture of Taylor walking with his sister Maggie and his niece, there could be no bigger example of a staged relationship. Let's walk through this together, shall we?
Let me start by explaining the role of a celebrity publicist. Their job is to continuously contact magazine editors to suggest story angles on their client. Their job is to keep the tabloids and all the entertainment shows consistently interested in the celebrity paying their salary. They are salesman and their single mission is to get the entertainment trades to write the story they exhaustively push. The Editors of Entertainment Weekly, for example, do not choose Taylor Swift as the entertainer of the year out of nowhere. Her publicist lobbies the editors. They are getting lobbied 24/7.
Let's get back to the magazine. In this case their publicists obviously provided all the cheesy quotes.
"Jake invited her to New York... It wasn't planned in advance, but she said, ‘Why not? I can do it, and I'm going.'" But the source continues, saying, "her parents weren't thrilled... But she explained to them that she gets to see them all the time and wasn't able to spend time with Jake during the publicity madness."
The nonsense continues:
"She ended up spending Thanksgiving at Maggie Gyllenhaal's house, where Swifty helped stir pots on the stove. A day later, Jake and Swifty returned to Tennessee to finish the rest of the weekend with her brood."
The magazine said there were about a dozen people at a Thanksgiving dinner at Maggie's house in New York. Between Maggie, her husband Peter, Jake, Taylor, his niece, his parents, and a few random friends or relatives there was at least one source willing to call US Weekly and report back that Taylor was stirring pots on the stove? Add to this US Weekly was the only outlet with access to an exclusive photo of her walking with Maggie and her daughter through New York City? This means a publicist agreed to give this specific magazine an exclusive interview. I am sure the added value was photo "proof" of her visit.
Why go forward with a fake relationship? Jake and Taylor benefit from all these news stories on their "relationship":
1. Jake wants to perpetuate this idea that he is a bachelor on a quest to find the woman he can finally settle down with. By doing this he will continue to get cast for certain roles, can demand a certain paycheck. He likes being famous. He wants to remain famous, even if it means selling himself down the river.
2. People were starting to question his past relationship with Reese Witherspoon. How could they be together so long and they never got serious? Reports were that he was pushing her to get more serious but she was not ready. Notice how she met someone right away? They live together, are apparently going to marry, and she talks openly of her interest in having more kids. It doesn't mesh.
3. Taylor has a new album to sell.
4. According to Chicago Sun-Times reporter Bill Zwecker she wants to move into acting. After a small cameo in the box-office bomb Valentine's Day she is looking for opportunities to star in movies.
5. Jake has long been considered as the answer to the Toothy Tile blind items.
Lastly, do you think a 29-year old man would have interest in a serious relationship with a 20-year old girl who writes songs about boys at school? Their outings together involve apple picking, giggling over lattes in random coffee shops, and getting scoops of ice cream.
Let's see how long this absurd charade goes on.
Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter @KateCasey