Everyone seems so thrilled that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are finally engaged. I am too, I swear. Why not unite in a holy union after a torrid affair and then adopting and having children out of wedlock? Shouldn’t you try to come together and make it official? Absolutely. If anything it will make it less confusing at the pickup and drop-off at school and when picking up the prescriptions at the pharmacy. But I guess I am sort of dragging my feet today because I have been asked to be a bridesmaid. Ugh. Check out this email I got last night:
From: Angelina (hungerfighter@gmail)
Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2012
To: Kate (loveandknuckles@gmail)
Cc: Gwen Stefani, Hillary Clinton, Ann Curry
Subject: “Bridesmaid” Stuff
Looks like you three will be my bridesmaids. Since I think the term is highly offensive and distracts from the women’s movement I would actually prefer to call you my “Lady Warriors”.
Please block out the first week of September for our marriage agreement ceremony. We will not know the location until probably the last minute, so plan to pack the following items:
- Hiking boots
- A Swiss Army Knife
- A flare
- A headscarf
I have asked Maddox to sketch some Lady Warrior outfits. I will send you the final three and you can choose your best silhouette. You are free to choose your own shoe, though I would prefer you choose something that has studs.
I know Ann has already been asking about a bachelorette weekend. I am not a big eater, so a small dinner is out. I don’t like the sun, so a pool party is out too. So I am thinking New Orleans for a blood sister ceremony would be fun. Then maybe a couple games of knife darts? Just something relaxing.
Kate Casey is a Pop Culture Lover. PR Pro. New mom. Comedy nerd. Celebrity gossip fan. Follow her on Twitter @KateCasey